Protect and Survive 13: Calm in the Heat of War
by RowenaR
Summary: And I give you now... an Atlantis wedding! Yes, Evan Lorne makes an honest woman out of Laura Cadman. No, really. Not exactly sane, but honest.
1. One

**Author:** RowenaR

**Rating:** K+

**Category: **Romance/Humor

**Disclaimer:** Stargate belongs to Gekko and… all those other people making money with it. Anyway, I don't. Honestly. So – I don't own, you don't sue. Deal?

**Summary: **And I give you now... an Atlantis wedding! Yes, Evan Lorne makes an honest woman out of Laura Cadman. No, really. Not exactly sane, but honorable.**  
**

**A/N: **A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks for all! Or maybe not for _everyone _- the boys at least had a pretty wild bachelor bash (without the strippers, though)... okay, and the girls don't have to hide anything. Um, yeah, anyway, on with the story... for some reason, **mac** didn't even warn me to slap a language warning on this one. Huh.

Anyway, as always: Not a native speaker, so please excuse any weird grammatical constructions, run-ons and typos. Feedback will earn you a cookie, flames will roast my marshmellows.

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**Protect and Survive: Calm in the Heat of War**

"_Pretty amazing grace is how You saved me  
and with amazing grace reclaimed my heart  
love in the midst of chaos  
calm in the heat of war  
showed with amazing grace what love was for."_

_Neil Diamond, "Pretty Amazing Grace"_

**One**

"You're gonna be fine, Laura." She throws Maureen a dirty look but the other woman isn't intimidated the least.

"I'm _not_ nervous, Maureen." Now there's a grin on Maureen's face.

"No, of course not. Not a bit." The grin says differently. Maureen doesn't believe her ruse for a min… no wait, it's not a ruse. She's really not nervous. No, no.

And she will tell Maureen so. "Like I said, I'm not. Okay… how do I look?" She turns towards Maureen and her friend critically looks at her appearance. Since Evan and her had decided on a _very_ small wedding – basically, the audience will consist of the bride and bridegroom, Maureen as her Maid of Honor, Major Moore as Evan's Best Man, Colonel Sheppard who's to lead her down the very short aisle, Teyla, Evan's team, Jessi Meyers, Kassandra Wilson and Mr. Woolsey who'll have the honor of performing the ceremony – she'd also gotten her wish of not having to marry in a dress. Instead she's wearing her Class A's, as is Maureen.

After another critical look and a little fussing with one of her lapels Maureen steps back and nods approvingly. "Very dashing, Captain."

She raises her eyebrows. "_Dashing_, Captain?"

Amused, Maureen grins again. "Positively dashing. Now, do you want to get married or not?" She rolls her eyes. What a question. She really didn't make it past crazy villagers, alpha male stand-offs, evil geniuses, hostage takers, the I.O.A., fake weddings, her mother, the Trust and now and then the odd Wraith to chicken out right before the wedding.

"Of course I do. Let's get going… lest Evan decides he's done enough waiting and takes the boys for a drinking round or something." Maureen just looks at her as to say 'What, you mean, _another_ one?' since according to the state in which Tom got back to Maureen early this morning Evan's bachelor bash must have been pretty big for an Atlantis spree.

As for themselves… well, let's just say seeing Jennifer tipsy and hearing Teyla tell dirty Athosian joke had been… a memorable event indeed. "Yeah, or Tom trying to convince him that he's too young to throw his freedom away." She looks questioningly at Maureen but the other Marine just shrugs. "What? We both know how evil Tom can be."

She snorts and walks towards the quarters' door. "Right. And you _still_ want to marry him."

"Yeah, I still do." Surprised about the rather thoughtful tone in Maureen's voice, she turns around to her friend to see her smiling to herself and biting her lip a little sheepishly. "I really do."

For just a moment, they share a look of complete understanding and she's tempted to get just a little bit sentimental and tell Maureen how happy she is that she and Tom have come so far after all they had to go through but then she remembers that "getting sentimental" is absolutely forbidden today – after all, one of the reasons they had decided for this small wedding had been to avoid any and all unnecessary sentimentalities – and simply jerks her head towards the door.

Hoping not to encounter too many base members, they make their way to the balcony Evan and her chose for the ceremony. On the way she continues bantering and chattering with Maureen, all the time convincing herself that she has nothing to be nervous about. All they have to do is say the few words they chose for each other and then say "I do," and that will be it. There's really nothing to it.

But still… when they round the last bend and Colonel Sheppard grins at her and lends her his arm after Maureen has walked through that last door… she can feel her heart suddenly racing in her chest and she does need to take a steadying breath. And of course Sheppard can't just lead her through that door but has to say, "What, nervous, Captain?"

The only thing she does is glaring at him and replying a tad coldly, "If just one more person asks me if I'm nervous I'm gonna…" his grin brightens and she's sure he thinks he knows what she'll say now which is why she says, "blast that person's ass into next year next chance I get."

That… does sober him up a little and he just clears his throat and answers, "Right. So… let's just… you know…" and finally, the door opens.


	2. Two

**Two**

"You're gonna be fine, Lorne." A vicious stare hits Thomas Moore but the officer in question doesn't do more than just shrug and add, "Really, there's no need to be nervous."

Another vicious glare and, "Shut up."

A faint snort from the background and he turns around to try his glare magic on this trespasser as well but it doesn't really… work. Just you wait, Simmons, he thinks, just you wait. "Kid's got an eye on her, you know."

"I _said_ shut up." This is really the moment where he starts to seriously contemplate exchanging Moore for someone else – and he would really take _anyone_ right now – as his Best Man. Why was it that he decided for this guy? Oh right, because he's probably the oldest friend he has in Atlantis… and because Laura chose Maureen and he wanted to rile her up a little with choosing Maureen's fiancé of all people as his Best Man.

Then he hears another snort and he whips around to face the offender down. This time it's Meyers… who gets a whack on his arm and a scolding glance from his wife for not recognizing the situation his CO is in. Of course there is nothing to be nervous about but… it's still a very important day in his life and… "Well… we _are_ a little behind on our schedule, Major."

What the…? And what is that… is that a _smirk_ on Woolsey's face? Slowly he starts to suspect that someone may have replaced Mr. Woolsey with his evil twin or something. Yeah, that has to be it. Mr. Woolsey isn't really Mr. Woolsey and he will now radio Colonel Shep… Okay, maybe not since the door just opened and Maureen Reece slipped in, unable to fully hide an amused grin. Why is it that everyone seems to find this funny apart from himself?

Oh well, time to straighten the jacket one last time and… ah, yeah, there she is. Colonel Sheppard is leading her down between the two rows of chairs they put on the balcony and even though she's wearing her Class A's she looks radiant and just a teeny tiny bit nervous. Of course he'd have loved to see her in a dress but when Laura Cadman decides she wants to marry you in her Class A's you better not antagonize her.

They walk up to him and Sheppard says something to her that makes her roll her eyes but he doesn't really care about that because after that she turns to him and smiles at him, a little hesitantly. In this moment there's really only one person… in this whole city for him.

Well, until Mr. Woolsey clears his throat and says, "Dear friends, we are gathered here today to witness Captain Laura Beatrice Cadman and Major Evan Alexander Lorne being joined in marriage. As we all know, it was a long and winded journey that brought these two people here together. It were also the choices they made and not all of them were easy to make. They have overcome many obstacles in their way and it is a pleasure to see them both here on this joyful day." Huh. A pleasure? Really? And that from the man who didn't seem exactly happy when they told him they wanted to get married.

Before Woolsey continues, he manages to sneak Sheppard a look with a raised eyebrow and to his surprise Sheppard seems to have understood him without further ado as he discreetly points towards Teyla who's sitting beside him and pretending not notice the little exchange. But yeah… makes sense that Woolsey didn't write this speech on his own as he had suspected when hearing it. However… now there comes the hard part. "But I think it is best if they tell us what they mean to each other themselves. Captain, Major, please."

Why they had decided on making their individual vows rather than the traditional "Till death us do part" version is suddenly beyond him as he sees Laura's bouquet shaking just a little bit before she takes a deep breath and his own nervousness suddenly feels overwhelming despite everything he might have told their audience before. Why couldn't they just… "I believe we are doomed."

Right, okay, here it goes. He can't help clearing his throat before saying, "Doomed, madam?"

Thank God he even managed to raise his eyebrow a little and give the line just the right amount of ironic amusement. It makes her smile and sound a little less insecure when saying, "To be together. Until one of us dies."

She's a wonderful Buttercup, now that she found into her part of the ceremony and so his next line comes to him very easily, "I've done that already, and I haven't the slightest intention of ever doing it again."

"Don't we sort of have to sometime?" Now she gave the question a little playful undertone, as well as just a bit of Buttercup's trademark blissful ignorance and he's just _this_ close to throwing the rest of the ceremony out of the window and kissing her right then and there.

But yeah, there are still lines missing so he does his part and says, "Not if we promise to outlive each other, and I make that promise now."

For a moment… she's quiet and he can see that her eyes become a little moist – if he ever gets up the courage to hint at this, she will most probably say it was the breeze that just rushed over the balcony – and that she's got a lump in her throat and this reaction goes straight to his heart… but much more so her final answer, a somehow choked up, "So do I." She swallows and then repeats with a voice much stronger and clearer, "So do I." And _God_, now it's _his_ turn to get a little teary-eyed and chocked up and of course he will also tell her it was the wind that made his eyes shine wet if she ever asks about it.

They look at each other and for just another moment, the world seems to have stopped turning and there's not a care in the world for them but each other. Then Mr. Woolsey clears his throat and says, "Would you please step forward, Major Moore?" Moore does as he is told and opens the ring case. "Well then…" Another clearing of his throat, "Major Evan Alexander Lorne, do you take Captain Laura Beatrice Cadman as your wife and pledge to respect and faithfully love her from this day forward?"

He can't help but smile, takes the ring that's supposed to be Laura's and puts it on her finger while saying, "I do."

Huh, he thinks, _that_ was easy… "Captain Laura Beatrice Cadman, do you take Major Evan Alexander Lorne as your husband and pledge to respect and faithfully love him from this day forward?" Even despite the wonderful vows, there's still this last bit of anxiety lingering in the dark deep recesses of his mind that she will not…

"I do," she says and puts the ring on his finger and… wow. This is it. They're married. They're really and for everyone to see…

"You may now kiss the bride." Oh. Right. Of course.

Meeting her halfway, he kisses her and it's so much better than that kiss they had shared in the "wedding" that had gotten him out of prison, even with their superiors and their subordinates present. He can feel her smile through the kiss and the contagious laughter that's just _waiting_ to be set free but he just can't help reaching up and cupping her face with his hands.

Then their audience applauds and that makes them break the kiss. Now she smiles so brightly that for him it nearly outshines the sun and then she laughs and gives him another peck on the lips before she turns around to Maureen and gives her friend a bear hug and he finds himself giving one to Tom.

When they are done he looks at Tom and… just for a very short moment, there's a glimmer of pain in Tom's eyes that tells him that they both just thought back to one lazy evening when another Laura had promised him that one day even he would find a girl to ride into the sunset with. He's just _this_ short of telling Tom that he as well wished Laura Greenspan would have been here to witness this but his friend beats him to it and simply says, "Me, too, Evan… me, too."

That's really all there needs to be said and so the only thing he does is shaking Tom's hand and giving him a clap on the shoulder before turning to Woolsey and thanking him for the ceremony and then be congratulated and hugged by the rest of the audience… and all the time he can't take his eyes off Laura… and she can't take her eyes off him… and _God_ can't he wait to be alone with her tonight.

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**A/N: **...come on, say it. I overdid the fluff, didn't I? But they _insisted_ on making their own vows and trust me, Laura with a detonator in her hand is a very scary sight. I really couldn't refuse her :S


	3. Three

**Three**

"So…" he says and looks first at her and then at the door of their quarters and… she gets immediately what he's about to say.

Or not, if she can do anything about it. She crosses her arms and states firmly, "No carrying."

That makes him roll his eyes and protest, "But it's tradition!"

Which prompts her to point out, "Yeah, so is sacrificing cute little animals in some cultures and we didn't do _that_ either."

That was a pretty convincing argument, wasn't it? "It's bad luck!" Okay, not for him, obviously. But his argument was a lot less convincing than hers… actually, it wasn't even an argument.

She growls. Doesn't he get it? "It's a stupid archaic tradition that…" Hey! _Hey_! She can't believe he actually caught her around her midriff and practically threw her over his shoulder. "What the hell are you doing?" He doesn't answer, just laughs and… _this is not funny_! Demanding, "Let me down, you chauvinist asshole!" she even gets as far as pounding his back with her fits, being very aware of the fact that this makes her look very, very undignified and hoping to God that Moore did not foresee any of this and recorded whatever security camera footage there is. "I swear if you don't let me down _right now_…"

"Your wish…" he huffs, "is my command," and with that he unceremoniously puts her on her feet again. Immediately, she wants to turn around and march off to the bedroom, determined to scratch any other action than sleeping off their itinerary for their wedding night but… damn, that grin. He'll _always_ get her with _that_ grin. It's the dimples, she decides… of _course_ it's the dimples.

"So…" he starts again, "what _exactly_ were you going to do to me if I didn't let you down? Because, you know, I was determined to carry you all the way to the bedroom."

"Yeah, I'm sure you were." Because Evan is always a very determined man and never doing things half-way and damn, it's _sexy_. "However… that certainly would have secured you a trip to the couch."

He makes a face… and starts taking the pins out that were holding her hair in place until now. "Aw… the couch, Laura? Seriously? On my wedding night?"

"Yes," she says and starts unbuttoning his jacket, "the couch. On _our_ wedding night."

"Right, on _our_ wedding night." Strong hands run through the hair they just loosened and when she reaches to strip the jacket she just unbuttoned from equally strong shoulders, the hands are gone but he started kissing her which is even better.

And whoa, someone really waited for this for a long time apparently… okay, yeah, she did, too. To match his enthusiasm for getting her Class A's off her, she sets a new record in unfastening a tie and getting rid of a shirt – without even tearing it off… well, much. "You know," he says and there's that hint of huskiness in his voice that tells her that it won't be long before both of them won't wear any clothes at all, "this is kind of…"

"Weird?" is the first thing coming to her mind, considering they're peeling off each other's Class A's and this _is_ all kinds of… well… weird.

There's a growl from him and then a half-amused, half-annoyed, "I was going to say _hot_."

"Uh… really?" She even stops her efforts to help him with the difficult task of getting rid of the trousers while getting to the bedroom as fast as possible.

Apparently, though… he isn't exactly happy about the sudden interruption. "Yes, really. Because, you know… I always thought that jacket for example…" she takes it he means the one that just made it down her shoulders, "fits you just a little too well to look just professional…" Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment? "And that skirt…" which is helped sliding down her legs by hands that take their time to get down, along with her stockings, "makes your legs look very… nice."

_Nice_, huh? "In that case…" she grabs the back of his undershirt's collar with one hand and the hair at the back of his head with the other and pulls him up gently – well, not _too_ gently, though – and practically purrs, "stop muddling around on the ground and give me the wedding night I deserve."

"The wedding night _we_ deserve," he shoots back and pulls the shirt over his head which is a bit of a pity since she'd intended to the same thing with the shirt and his abs that he did with her skirt and her legs.

She wants to confirm that yes, this should be the wedding night they _both_ deserve but… occupied. With hands. And lips. And… teeth. Mh… oh, _that_'s nice… She can't help but giggle and drag him into the bedroom and damn, now he picked her up again and carries her over to the bedroom but somehow… that's not half as bad as being carried over the threshold. In fact… _holy crap_.

Evan drops her a little unceremoniously which is mainly due to the fact that he just almost slipped on… something that's incredibly slick and yucky and _occupying their bedroom floor_. And the bed. The drawers. Actually… basically _everything_.

"I'll kill him," Evan growls and adds equally dark, "This time I _will_ kill him. In fact… I'll kill them all. After making them clean it all up."

With a quick glance she assesses the damage and then replies, "And you know what's the best thing about it? You're their superior. Well, most of them, anyway… I have a feeling Jennifer had a part in this as well."

"Yeah. Unfortunately… I'm not _Sheppard's_ superior." Crap, she forgot that part… because there's no way in hell Sheppard had nothing to do with this. _Someone_ must have let them in here. _And_ someone must have given them access to whatever they put on everything in the bedroom… fuck, she'll be damned if Rodney didn't have a part in this as well.

Disgusted, she surveys the bedroom again, sliding her naked foot over the floor… oh, they covered it with something… saran wrap. "But they were creative. We really have to give them that."

He scowls at the room in general. But then… a grin spreads over his face. An _evil_ grin. "You know what that means, right?" Does she now? She raises her eyebrows inquisitively. "_We_ have to come up with something _ingenious_ for Tom and Maureen's wedding night."

_Jesusfuckingchrist_, he's just so… _sexy_. "Mh, farm boy… I love it when you're evil."

"I know you do," he replies and puts his hands on her hips and draws her towards him. "It's part of what makes being evil once in a while so much fun, Buttercup." With that, he starts nuzzling the crook of her neck… well, that is until she slips again which makes them nearly hit the doorframe… and – after a round of swearing from both of them, cursing Thomas Moore and everyone who helped him – gives her an idea.

"You know… I think… they were actually trying to do us a favor." It just makes him raise an eyebrow and she jerks her head towards the goo infested bedroom and even adds a suggestive grin to it… and then Evan seems to have gotten it because he has this kind of grin on his face that usually indicates he's about to fly a really fast, really big plane… or get to blow something up before she does.

"And I think… you might be right with that." And then, instead of doing what a sensible person might have done – leave the bedroom without trying to do more damage to the rest of their quarters than necessary – gets back to putting his hands on her hips and nuzzling her… and steering her towards the middle of the bedroom… with her being a more than willing participant. It's not really the wedding night she had had in mind… but it might actually be better, just because Thomas Moore apparently refuses to grow up. Maybe she'll even thank him… after they made him clean it all up. But for now… oooh, they will make full use of what they were left with. _Definitely_.

* * *

**A/N:** Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you... the good old (rural) German tradition of wedding night pranks. No idea if they do that in other countries as well (and some can be real creative even in real life, I've heard) but **mac** said she never heard of anything like that in the US. I have a feeling it was Moore's German medic who had the idea... he's just lucky Moore didn't jump at the other (rural) German tradition, the kidnapping of the bride, because, you know, I don't think Evan would haven taken lightly to _that_. And Laura would have kicked any kidnapper's ass, no matter if they outrank her or not *coughs


End file.
